Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Clean Your Room, or You'll Be On Time-Out For the Rest of Your Life

Spring is in full fling, and you know what that means: the birds are a-chirping, bees are a-buzzing, flowers are a-blooming, mosquitos are a-blood sucking, and I'm... supposed to be a-Spring cleaning.

Let me tell you a little something about me: I hate cleaning. Really, I do. Here I am circa 1985, cleaning my room. This photo is actually the 2nd in a two part series. The 1st photo (which I can't find because my photo boxes are a disorganized mess) shows me sleeping on the bed. Clearly, I was working hard.

24 years later, this is still pretty much how I clean. I'm sure in some language I don't speak (but should!), "Clean your room!" actually means "Go and take a nice long nap and when you are done we can all have ice-cream."

I wasn't even born with that gene that gives you a sense of accomplishment when the job is done. I think I'm defective. After busting out the cleaning products and vacuum cleaner, and scrubbing, organizing, and dust-removing for hours, I usually just feel annoyed that what could have been hours of creative time were wasted by cleaning.

And it doesn't help any that I have the worlds messiest, most destructive kids on the planet. Annelie's new favorite activity is "fixing" things, which translates to her disemboweling, shredding, and defacing whatever she can get her hands on. Gracie hates cleaning as much as me, which is pretty disappointing as I'd always hoped I would have little neat-freaks for kids.

And when I try to get Annelie excited to pick up and put away her toys, she just flashes me the 'V' sign (um... this is the British equivalent of the middle finger) and shouts, "Jog on!"

Yeah, my husband taught her that. Thanks a lot, honey. But that's kinda how I feel when I have to clean. I just want to flash the Great Cleaning gods in the sky the "V" sign and shout, "Jog ON!"

But instead, I blast Lady Gaga from the speakers and hope that the pop dance beat will get my bum moving so that I can finally be done with this whole Spring cleaning nonsense. Already, I've bagged up three Hefty bags of unused and broken toys that have been just sitting in Gracie's closet and under her bed. And next... my crafts and art supplies. I'm saving that for last because procrastination is my favorite and I seriously dread going through my crafty stuff with the intention of downsizing. I hope you all are enjoying your Spring a little more than me.

On a brighter note, the girl's and I are off to Austin to hang out with the family until next week, so adios! And if any of you want to pop by and clean my place while I'm gone, just let me know and I'll leave a key for you.

xoxo,

11 comments:

Leah said...

I detest cleaning. I keep up with dishes and laundry, because, you know, we need to eat and wear clothes...but the rest is a constant struggle. I'm in awe of some of the moms I know who have neat, tidy houses despite having more kids than I do.

Momma J said...

Cleaning - that's a 4-letter work in my opinion!

threemoonbabies said...

The house never stays clean when you have kids...so what's the point:)

The Momma said...

You're gonna be in Austin??? Hmmmm, I feel a small road trip comin on!!

Whimsical Creations said...

I have been purging a lot lately. I am not fond of cleaning either. I just hate that when you purge it looks worse before it gets any better. I am giving a bunch of old stuff to my brother in law to sell at his garage sale he is having this weekend. I told him he could keep the money because he has done a bunch of remodeling for us. (personally I am just happy someone else will deal with it once it is loaded on his truck).

AlyGatr said...

Cleaning...HUMBUG! I do it because I hate to hear Dom complain about things being unclean (he's a clean freak). I do have to admit...I am a neat freak, so while under ordinary circumstances, you can't eat off my floor, everything is generally where it should be...well until Merrick wakes up and starts his daily deconstruction. By the end of the night though (and about 20 minutes of my time every night), all is back from whence it came.

Still collecting pennies for your Merry Maid :)

AlyGatr said...

Oh and P.S...Dom and I do the "jog on" too...even though neither of us is British :)

Audrey said...

I hate to tell you this - but my boys were messier when they were that age!!
I don't like spring cleaning - but it must be done.

Kelly said...

my dh knows when i'm made because that is when i REALLY clean. and i agree with threemoonbabies. the house never stays clean when you have kids...

Janna said...

I'm so with you on this cleaning thing. I hate cleaning!! I'd much rather do almost anything else on the planet. My kids can make about 5 messes while I'm still cleaning up the first one. Cleaning does feel pointless.

shiborigirl said...

Haha, I like the idea of blowing town and leaving a key for someone ELSE to do the Dreaded Job. :D

I'm with you - I hate to clean. I always hoped I'd have kids so I could make them do it, like my folks made my brother and me do theirs. LOL No such luck.

That's my karma biting me in the butt!

Enjoy your trip,

Kate

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