Friday, January 8, 2010

Friday Flashback: Pregnancy Sucks

Here's a little photo of me, from my Annelie pregnancy, with three months to go... yes, that's right - Three Months. I already felt like I was going to pop and I still had THREE freakin' months to go.

Annelie, my itsy bitsy tiny little baby, turns three this month and currently Will and I are saving money for him to get the snip. Why? Because I HATE being pregnant. I'm talking hate, as in loathe, despise, and abhor every single waking, breathing moment of it. Do I need more synonyms for hate or do you get the picture yet?

I have major envy of all the mothers who love being pregnant. I wish I had those feelings. I wish I could glow. The only reason I'm smiling in the above picture, is because I had already bought Annelie's baby book and it had one space for a photo of pregnant mama, and I wanted it to be a happy-looking one.

Yes, I was filling the pages of her baby book with LIES. Happy pregnancy? Me? Uh, no. More like psycho-raging hormones, being sick around the clock, swollen cankles (yeah, I said it... cankles, as in calf-ankles), 45 lb weight gain (darned Sonic Bacon Double Cheeseburgers with Tots), and the inability to be rational for even a second (just ask Will, he'll tell ya).

And worse than pregnant - the actual labor and delivery, or in my case, the freak-out over having yet another c-section. FYI, I hate c-sections.

I have an anxiety disorder, and it definitely reared it's ugly head during both of my pregnancies. I was 100% positive, when I was pregnant with Gracie, that I was going to give birth to Siamese twins. And then when I had the ultrasound and learned that I wasn't, I became 100% positive that she would be a hermaphrodite. And then when I learned that she wasn't, I was 100% positive that I was going to die in child birth.

I didn't. But then I got pregnant with Annelie and the irrational anxieties came back.

Do Will and I want to have more children? Yes, definitely. As long as we've known each other, we've talked about fostering to adopt older kids who are close to 'aging out' of the system, but who still don't have a family to call their own. Obviously, we are waiting until the girls are older. Fostering older kids is very challenging, so I've heard, and Annelie is enough of a challenge for me, right now.

But we LOVE kids. We ADORE kids, and we can't wait to have more. We're just thrilled that we can have them without the whole pregnancy thing happening again. Letting Pregnant-Marisa become just a flashback is mighty fine by me. Plus, just imagine how whacked-out my blog and shop would become if I had psycho-preggo-hormones in me. Not a pretty picture, to be sure!

Do you have a flashback of your own? Head over to Tia's blog (here) for the coolest meme in town.



Piggy said...

Wow.. I can see all the raging hormones by the sound of your blog! No worries. Time flies and it will be soon over :) Btw, you do glow from the picture that you posted. or is that the blush? :P

Take care! Have a blessed & smooth pregnancy.

God Bless

The Momma said...

I totally agree that being pregnant SUCKS! I had 2 miserable pregnancies myself and did a little happy dance when my hubby was snipped! I think that fostering/adopting an older child is a WONDERFUL idea!

Christopher And Tia said...

Of course its easy for me to say this right now, as I've had non stop nausea since the second I opened my eyes this morning, and I just fell asleep while eating my lunch, but- I agree, pregnancy does suck.

You looked cute pregnant though :) Are you sure you don't wanna go through it just one more time? Hee hee.

Oh Mandie! said...

Oh my gosh I absolutely love hearing another woman saying that being pregnant sucks!

Seriously everytime I hear someone gush about it all I want to do is smack them, because there is nothing good about constant nausea, stretch marks, gas, and constant peeing!

I was on bedrest with both of my boys which made it twice as miserable!

Tell Will to talk my husband into getting the snip, because he's too scared (even though its ok for me to squeeze a child out of my hoo haa!)

AlyGatr said...

I think you looked fantastic....and not big at all!

Can I say, I'm SOOOO glad I'm not the only one who HATED being knocked up. I love my kids...and wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world...but the pregnancy part...UGH! We're looking into the ole snipperoo too :)

Anonymous said...

Oh my, forgive me for laughing, I hope that was your intent (aside from venting). The part about anxieties and all of the crazy things you imagined--I can totally see myself going there! Yikes. I haven't had a child yet, though. Cheers to you for being honest!!! Seriously, find some other honest mothers and put together a book or something :) So happy I found your blog.

Melissa said...

I hated being pregnant, too. I had hyperemesis with each of my pregnancies (non-stop sickness to the point of being hospitalized). Deciding to have a third baby was a BIG deal for us, but we couldn't have gotten through it without my in-laws' help during the times I couldn't even get out of bed. Needless to say, my husband had the snip when we decided three was all my body could handle. Sometimes you have to listen to your body and not your heart.

Good luck with the fostering when it comes to that point!

Malou said...

I too hated being pregnant and do not look forward to being pregnant a second time. I was like you: looked full term at 6th months, had cankles, had a c-section, was irrational, and could not sleep without my sides falling asleep. However, i would do it all over again because I love my son and want another one. Thanks for sharing:)

MAB Jewelry said...

I have never been, and will never be, pregnant. I am terrified of it, and think that's a very rational terror, thank you very much. Even pregnant women frighten me. Tiny babies--scary. I like them when they're about four and I can discuss politics with them.

Dreary Mouse said...

I don't think I will like it either when the time comes :(

PS love the layout/colors on your blog. going to look at your shop next. :)

aka dreary mouse

Leah said...

I'm so done with pregnancy, as soon as I actually *get* done with this one...two kids is a perfect number for me! The second trimester fooled me into thinking I like being pregnant, or at least don't mind it, and then....blech. I can't sleep because I'm uncomfortable, then as soon as I get into a comfy position, I realize I have to pee again, so the whole process starts over. No desire to go through it all again!

sMacThoughts said...

I've never been married or pregnant... not how I'd planned it, but how lift has turned out... your honesty is refreshing, and I applaud all mothers who endure so very much!

Sarah said...

I remember thinking I hated it too, and how the hell would I do it again, but after week 15 it wasn't so bad. And now I don't remember the horrible stuff. I got huge too! Not that you look huge there, because I've got a photo that could beat you! :) I gained 61 lbs! Mostly belly too! So crazy.

casserole said...

Even if being pregnant sucked for you, you sure looked cute! (I was NOT a cute preggo!) Being pregnant wasn't so bad for me, but the whole giving birth and post partum time sucked SO royally. I always feel a pang of left-out-edness when I hear my friends tell these beautiful birthing stories.

Nen said...

you did look cute! wish i could say whether or not i hated pregnancy.
maybe one of these days...

Whimsical Creations said...

You look cute! Pregnancy hormones suck.

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