Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Can Someone Please Remind Me...

*Exhibit A.

... why the heck I so badly wanted kittens? Because I'm having a very hard time remembering, especially when it comes to Somersault, our resident pain-in-the-arse.

Somer is our attack cat.

She
  • attacks rolls of toilet paper - ALL rolls of toilet paper *see Exhibit A
  • attacks the curtains - rips them, and the rods straight out of the walls
  • attacks the water going down the drain
  • attacks paper towel rolls - ALL paper towel rolls
  • attacks the dog
  • attacks the cat food bag - even when her food dish is full **see Exhibit B
  • attacks glasses of water left on the kitchen table - lots of broken glass for me to clean up
  • attacks my colored pencils - BAD BAD KITTY!
  • attacks my children - actually, this one is kind of funny

AND she purrs as if she's being adorable whenever I shout at her.

(NOTE: she is not adorable. She is a pest)

** Exhibit B.
(kitty food. nom nom nom)


At least Somersault has one (almost) redeeming quality. She has spaghetti bones and will go limp anytime the kids are near her, allowing them to stuff her anywhere they want. Shopping carts (***see Exhibit C), shoe boxes, doll houses, paper grocery bags, laundry baskets, handbags, you name it.

And she likes it.

*** Exhibit C.

But other than that... please remind me just why I wanted kittens so badly?

'Cause I'm having a very, very hard time remembering.

xoxo,

26 comments:

Dean from Australia said...

A living shawl?...perhaps.

Hang her around your neck and when she purrs you got one heck of a neck vibrating massager...

ElegantSnobbery said...

Dean, that is creative genius! Yes, a neck-massaging shawl-- I shall try that!

Kearsie said...

Wow. Just think, if there's ever an intruder in the house, just chuck her at said bad guy and perhaps Somer shall scratch out his eyes or something. Then she'd be a hero and you can go on Animal Planet and do a special about how famousy and geniusy your cat is and how you use to pull your hair out when she attacked toilet paper to which on national TV you will just shake your head fondly.

I can so see it now.

Heidi Jane Blankets said...

we had a kitty once and she'd let my daughter put her in strollers like that too. It's so cute when they do that :)

Oh Mandie! said...

Oh man, our cat Percy was exactly like that. Brayden used to pick him up and trap him up on the top bunk bed - poor cat. But that cat was a total spaz, climbing up my door frames and jumping down once she reached the ceiling.

Hey, at least Somer is cute!

Jonathon Arntson said...

The puppies got a hold of a yellow steno pad the other night. It looked like New Years had occurred over night. Somehow, I was also hungover in the AM.

ElegantSnobbery said...

Ooooh, Kearsie, now I'm actually hoping for an intruder so I can have my 15 minutes of Animal Planet fame!

ElegantSnobbery said...

Jon - PARTY PUPPY!!!

Kelly said...

because they are the most adorable little creatures on God's green earth. even when they are attacking things. :-) my tink thinks she's a dog, so that makes for some very amusing moments.

ElegantSnobbery said...

Kelly - Oh, okay. You do have a point. They are pretty darned adorable! Maybe Somer things she's a puppy, like Tink!

Christopher And Tia said...

aww, but they're so cute! ....thats why.

AlyGatr said...

Thanks for reminding me of all of the reasons that I won't have any cats anytime soon :)

Gina Lee Kim said...

This is a hilarious post! I originally wanted a dog. Then couldn't have a cat. And now.....I have 2 rats!

Erica said...

LOL! it is a good thing cat's are cute, right?

TexNan said...

But ya gotta love 'em anyway. My Max is a biter, dang 'im, and demanding when it comes time for food, which is all the time anymore, but Hub and I've turned our lives upside down for the Royal Almost-Diabetic Toot! (We keep him not-diabetic by feeding him small meals four times a day.)

Much More Than Mommy said...

I look at all these... and I *still* want a cat. I am also praying that The Husband never sees this post. :-D

Fru-la-la! said...

the kitteh has personality!! I love the pictures of her!

Whimsical Creations said...

Oh my! She is one spunky kitty! But she is sooo cute! (My one kitty likes to chew on everything, especially plastic bags...it is soooo annoying)

DancingMooney ♥ said...

Too funny! Kittens can be the worst, but they soon enough grow up, just like children... and then you'll start thinking how boring she is compared to how playful she used to be. :) just means she'll have a little more spunk in her years. ♥

Janna said...

Because kittens and kids go together like mac and cheese. Yeah, sometimes both can be really messy and annoying, but just remember, it's a phase. It will probably pass when she grows up and turns into a fat, lazy adult cat. At least that's what I told myself at Christmas when we AGAIN had a very ugly Christmas tree because our felines wouldn't stay out of it. But our oldest cat had little to no interest in climbing the tree, which gives me hope that as the young ones age, they will outgrow some of their annoying habits. Hopefully my kids will too.

MAB Jewelry said...

Look at how adorable they are! And they love you, in their own alien kitten way. And they add variety and spice to live.
Plus, your vacuum gets lots of extra work now, right? See, that's a good thing.

Heather Kelly said...

So funny. Sadly, our cat only attacks the kids in an unfunny way. She's old, and she's my mom's cat, and I cat sit for my mom almost all year... and more than anything I want a cat that will actually sit and let the kids touch her. But I'm a bit afraid that our guest cat will tear a new kitten to shreds like the toilet paper. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Melissa said...

Oh, the little rascal! I laughed when I saw the picture of the food bag, because that is exactly what our cats do if I don't empty it into the plastic bin the moment I arrive home.

Pretty Things said...

That's hilarious - the cat has the same expression as a child caught out!

ColeAndJosephine said...

The same reason I wanted a dog, I suppose. I, too, have forgotten the reason...

But there is a lot to be said about an animal that will tolerate the children.

cabin + cub said...

Awwww. she is so cute. Hard to stay mad at that little cutey, i bet! ;)

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