Friday Flashback: Fairy Tale Diaries

These entries from my 7th grade diary are embarrassing (and a little psychotic), but hey - it's Friday, which means one thing, folks! FLASHBACK TIME!

In seventh grade, I didn't do my homework often, but I certainly did put enormous amounts of energy into my diary (ahem - I mean my journal. I felt too grown up to have a silly little kids diary, so I emphasized that it was my journal all the way through). And it's funny for me to read now because I don't remember being so gosh darn angry as a teen. But I was - beginning with my 5th grade diary and going all the way through 8th grade, I pretty much wrote a billion swear words and I HATE so and so... over and over again.

I never planned an sharing my diary, but my good pal Kelly was sharing some of her middle school diary entries on her blog last week, and when we were chatting, I mentioned that I got my teen angst out through fairy tale retellings (yup, I have always been a fairy tale junkie). Kelly said, "Share them!" and I said, "Absolutely not!" but here I am, sharing them anyway...

Only two tales have survived - I was big into hacking my diary up and throwing away the pages, so my diary isn't complete. Also, names have been changed, except for mine, so my 7th grade crush is now called Sam.

Feb. 12, 1994

Dear Journal,

Once upon a time in Oz, there lived a widow pig and her three kids. One day, pig #1 (Lisa) said, "I'm gonna build a house."

The Widow said, "Okay. Goodbye, Lisa."

Lisa said 'goodbye' and went to Cost Plus Imports to buy matches. With those matches, she built a house.

The second pig (Amy) said, "I, too, am gonna build a house." The widow said, "Okay, goodbye, Amy."

Amy said 'goodbye' and went to Safeway to buy popsicles. With the sticks, she built a house.

Now the third and final son was a fat porker called Sam. He said, "I am gonna build a house."

The widow said, "Thank God, I get to be rid of my son."

Sam said 'goodbye,' got not reply, but continued to the garden where he pulled all the weeds. With those weeds, he built a house.

In that neighborhood, there lived a wolverine (named Marisa). One day, while the wolverine was taking a walk, she came across a house of matches.

"Hmmmm..." said she.

Then she came across a house of popsicle sticks.

"Hmmmm..." said she.

Last, she came across a house of weeds.

"MMMMMM..." said she.

Then she ate Sam up.

The End.

Love, Marisa Myers

-----------------

Feb. 14, 1994

Dear Journal,

Once upon a time, under the Bermuda Triangle, there lived a city of mermaids.

One day while Marisa (the most beautiful of all the mermaids) was taking a swim, she came across a Royal Caribbean cruise ship.

Up on the decks, there was a pig (ugly, I might mention) called Sam. He was asking Kate Stevens out. A great gust of wind came and blew Sam into the ocean. He drowned.

The End

Yeaaaaah. Good thing he never asked ME out. I was clearly far from emotionally ready for a relationship. And to think I used to wonder why I had to go to group counseling as a teen...

Although, according to other diary (ahem - journal) entries from that week, this was when the boy I liked asked my arch nemesis out, and their first date was on my 13th birthday (which was the day between these two entries). My arch nemesis was more than happy to talk about it all when we were stuck sitting next to each other in science. I was a little bitter.

And what's an embarrassing flashback without an even more embarrassing picture to go with it?! Here is my gem of a school picture from the same year.

I took off my glasses because I wanted to look prettier. Ugh. I cried the day we got school pictures back.

YAY! Middle school misery! It certainly is character building.

Have a flashback of your own to share? Head over to Tia's blog and join in the fun.

Happy Friday, folks!

xoxo,