Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Why I Typically Screen All Phone Calls...

Green Vintage Rotary Telephone Watercolor
by Joanna of Jojolarue

I hate talking on the phone. I used to love it, especially in my teen years when I'd talk for six hours straight with one friend and when that call was done, I'd call another friend and talk for another six hours straight.

As soon as I grew up and discovered that my brain and my mouth aren't connected, and that they are further disconnected as soon as a speaker is placed in front of me, I started avoiding the phone like the plague. This all began when I was about 18 and realized that sometimes I randomly say my name like I'm signing off a letter just before I hang up. And when I'm not doing things like that to embarrass myself... I'm saying other things to embarrass myself.

Like today.

[phone rings]

PERKY GIRL ON PHONE: Hi! Can I speak with Alexis Strombone?

ME: Sorry, there's no one here by that name. May I take a message?

[silence]

PERKY GIRL ON PHONE [less perky]: Uh....?

ME: I mean... Whoops. [click]

*facepalm*

And don't even get me started on texting. Apparently my fingers and my brain aren't connected either. Which is why I enjoy When Parents Text so darned much. It's a whole website devoted to people who are as genius as me! (if you have not experienced the hilarity that is this website, you MUST)

Any other phone-challenged people out there? Please say I'm not the only one.

xoxo,

20 comments:

w said...

gimme a minute. i'm gonna call you.

also. random: my word verification is "bafecord". it makes me snicker.

DancingMooney ♥ said...

That's so funny! I'm the same way, I used to be able to talk on the phone for hours, now when my phone rings I make a funny 'do not disturb me' face, and eventually get up and see who called. Don't text, don't have a camera phone, surely can't access the internet via my old school ghetto cell phone that I only have because the husband has a cell too, so we don't have a house phone. ha! No worries, you are not alone. ;)

Winklepots said...

Well then I feel pretty lucky that I get a coherent Marisa when I call and that we talk for more than 2 minutes. Hmmm, thinking it's time to call to help you bone up on your phone speaking skills.

Marisa Hopkins said...

Winn - *screens call* yeah, I just did that.

Janell - YAY, I'm not alone!! Haha, I have a super old skool cell phone, too!! And I don't even know how to use it. haha.

Holly - dude, no joke, besides my mom, you were the last person I called. Like, months ago. I'm not even making this up.

KJ said...

If it weren't for my calls with Kaylee, I would have zero use for the telephone. Seriously. ZERO.

Stela said...

Hahaha! That's awesome!
I'm terrible at talking on the phone too! I talk too fast and sometimes I can't spit the word out and I'm just stuttering, quite terrible. So I stick to texting.
I can't wait to check out that website!

Natalie C Parker said...

I am laughing at both of us. You for saying it and me for taking a solid minute to figure out what was wrong with it.

;)

April said...

I'm with Natalie, it took me a minute to figure the error. I have a habit of long pauses, trying to figure what I'm gonna say!

Marisa Hopkins said...

Kathy - haha, I talk to my mom a couple times a week, and my hubs a couple times a day, and that is ALL. I hate the phone.

Stella - ME TOO!

Natalie and April - *SNORT* That cracked me up.

Maria said...

I only choke at the voicemail. So glad the trend is for people to not even listen to their messages any more and just call back. I go on and on, and if the machine doesn't cut me off, I do it myself when i realize I'm rambling. "Bye" (oh yeah, forgot to say the most important thing, like who I am, why I called or how to reach me.)

mshatch said...

that's why I like texting - I can answer when I want AND I can write my answer, allowing me plenty of time to think about what I want to say rather than blurt something stupid out of mouth - not that I've ever done that, of course ;)

Marisa Hopkins said...

Maria - Haha, ME too! I hate leaving messages but I always end up leaving a long, stupid one :P

Marcy - I have seriously got to figure out texting. It always ends up as one big long word with randomly capitalized and sometimes wrong letters :D

Cathy said...

haha that was great!

missbaah said...

I properly snorted. Nice to see I'm not the only one reduced to a babbling fool when presented with a phone.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Yes, that's me, phone challenged. I used to write out scripts for myself when I had to make a phone call. It's a huge anxiety of mine. I say the dumbest things, usually uncensored.

That was hilarious, though. "May I take a message?" Ha!!

Meeling said...

Not one for talking on the phone much...but I do text, quite a lot...mostly my kiddos...it's good to stay "with it" when you've got teenagers!

beka said...

ohmyWORD i love that!
hahah
can i take a message?
ohhhh i love that. and you.
:D

Kelly Warren said...

I hear you sister. I hate talking on the phone too. I can't tell you how many times I've answered the phone at home with "Student Life, this is Kelly." So I just quit answering the phone. Now thankfully, my girls LOVE racing to the phone it rings, so if they aren't around, it just goes unanswered.

Melissa said...

HAHAHA!! Sometimes I have to catch myself before I say "I love you." Um . . . how embarrassing would saying *that* to just anyone be?

Leah said...

awesome :)

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