I've always had this irrational fear that when I one day get to go to an author event, I'll get to the front of the line to have my book signed, say hello to the much-adored author, and then pull a Marisa.
In case you're wondering what pulling a Marisa might look/sound like, well let me just tell you: it begins with nervous, incoherent babbling, then turns to awkward silence when I realize how much like an idiot I sound, which leads to RED FACE and blood pounding in my ears, which leads to me laughing it off, but the laughter ends up the creepy, awkward kind -- the kind that when Gracie hears it, she goes, 'Mom, why are you laughing like that?' -- which leads to more nervous incoherent babbling and/or laughter, which leads to me wishing I could flee the premises, track down Hermione Granger, steal her time-turner, and have a do-over.
So silly, right? I'm too old for this kind of behavior.
Yesterday, I had the privilege of going to my first author event, and get this, folks - IT WAS MY FAVORITE YA AUTHOR! Yep, that's right. Maggie Stiefvater, author of Lament, Ballad, the Wolves of Mercy Falls series, and The Scorpio Races, is here doing signings in the UK, and, as luck would have it, yesterday she was at the Hay Festival (which was very close by the house I'm staying at this summer).
Let me just say, Maggie S. is brilliant when it comes to author talks - I've heard this from friends and crit partners who have seen her speak, and she definitely had yesterday's audience captivated.
Then it was time for her to do book signings. Naturally, this is when I pulled a Marisa. Like for instance, when she asked my name and I gave her my critique partner's name instead (I was having the book signed as a present for my critique partner, who gave the same book to me last year after Maggie's LA signing).
And then she looked at me all puzzled, and said, 'No, what's your name.'
And I realized how dumb I sounded, so I spazzed, and sputtered, and turned red, and could barely remember my name enough to choke it out.
Now Panic and Freak Out print
Someday, I'm going to be really cool. The RED face and creepy, nervous laughter will not rear its ugly, tomato-y head. That day is going to be awesome.
But for now, I'll have to settle with my constant facepalm... which I mentally did only two seconds later, when she asked me how it was going with my critique partner (who I mentioned I'd met via Maggie's blog), and I replied with,
'Oh, great. Yeah, great, she's great. We're very... (stop sounding dumb, Marisa, just STOP) ... happy together?'
[insert creepy, nervous laughter when I realize how strange that sounds]
[insert even more creepy, nervous laughter when I realize how creepy I sound when I creepily laugh]
'Ah. Good.' she said as she quickly finished scribbling her signature and pushed the book across the table at me.
Creepy or not, I still got my picture.
Then I grabbed my camera and the signed book, and quickly fled the premises.
*cringe* I don't know why I act so moronically.
Maggie S. was, of course, very nice. Also, I really hope people act spazzy at each and every one of her signings, so that I just joined the masses, and blended right in.
Happy Monday, folks!