Friday, March 11, 2011

Friday Flashback: Fairy Tale Diaries

These entries from my 7th grade diary are embarrassing (and a little psychotic), but hey - it's Friday, which means one thing, folks! FLASHBACK TIME!

In seventh grade, I didn't do my homework often, but I certainly did put enormous amounts of energy into my diary (ahem - I mean my journal. I felt too grown up to have a silly little kids diary, so I emphasized that it was my journal all the way through). And it's funny for me to read now because I don't remember being so gosh darn angry as a teen. But I was - beginning with my 5th grade diary and going all the way through 8th grade, I pretty much wrote a billion swear words and I HATE so and so... over and over again.

I never planned an sharing my diary, but my good pal Kelly was sharing some of her middle school diary entries on her blog last week, and when we were chatting, I mentioned that I got my teen angst out through fairy tale retellings (yup, I have always been a fairy tale junkie). Kelly said, "Share them!" and I said, "Absolutely not!" but here I am, sharing them anyway...

Only two tales have survived - I was big into hacking my diary up and throwing away the pages, so my diary isn't complete. Also, names have been changed, except for mine, so my 7th grade crush is now called Sam.

Feb. 12, 1994

Dear Journal,

Once upon a time in Oz, there lived a widow pig and her three kids. One day, pig #1 (Lisa) said, "I'm gonna build a house."

The Widow said, "Okay. Goodbye, Lisa."

Lisa said 'goodbye' and went to Cost Plus Imports to buy matches. With those matches, she built a house.

The second pig (Amy) said, "I, too, am gonna build a house." The widow said, "Okay, goodbye, Amy."

Amy said 'goodbye' and went to Safeway to buy popsicles. With the sticks, she built a house.

Now the third and final son was a fat porker called Sam. He said, "I am gonna build a house."

The widow said, "Thank God, I get to be rid of my son."

Sam said 'goodbye,' got not reply, but continued to the garden where he pulled all the weeds. With those weeds, he built a house.

In that neighborhood, there lived a wolverine (named Marisa). One day, while the wolverine was taking a walk, she came across a house of matches.

"Hmmmm..." said she.

Then she came across a house of popsicle sticks.

"Hmmmm..." said she.

Last, she came across a house of weeds.

"MMMMMM..." said she.

Then she ate Sam up.

The End.

Love, Marisa Myers


Feb. 14, 1994

Dear Journal,

Once upon a time, under the Bermuda Triangle, there lived a city of mermaids.

One day while Marisa (the most beautiful of all the mermaids) was taking a swim, she came across a Royal Caribbean cruise ship.

Up on the decks, there was a pig (ugly, I might mention) called Sam. He was asking Kate Stevens out. A great gust of wind came and blew Sam into the ocean. He drowned.

The End

Yeaaaaah. Good thing he never asked ME out. I was clearly far from emotionally ready for a relationship. And to think I used to wonder why I had to go to group counseling as a teen...

Although, according to other diary (ahem - journal) entries from that week, this was when the boy I liked asked my arch nemesis out, and their first date was on my 13th birthday (which was the day between these two entries). My arch nemesis was more than happy to talk about it all when we were stuck sitting next to each other in science. I was a little bitter.

And what's an embarrassing flashback without an even more embarrassing picture to go with it?! Here is my gem of a school picture from the same year.

I took off my glasses because I wanted to look prettier. Ugh. I cried the day we got school pictures back.

YAY! Middle school misery! It certainly is character building.

Have a flashback of your own to share? Head over to Tia's blog and join in the fun.

Happy Friday, folks!



Laura Pauling said...

I pretty much wasn't ready for a relationship until I was out of college, so don't feel bad!

Eyelah said...

That is so cute! I Wish I kept my diaries(journals) from middle school but I was convinced "the man" (my mother) was going to read through them. I guess I was paranoid. Thanks for sharing that post.

Kelly Polark said...

Yay!!!! Thanks for sharing them. And it's so you that it's a fairytale! And Sam was probably a bastard anyway.... :) I love how he suffered in your stories!
Love these!!!!! So funny! And I wish you didn't tear the other stories apart. Angst at its best.

Meeling said...

Great post!!
Love the mermaid! I wish I had saved my diary from back then...I'd for sure get a kick out of reading it now. I'm not sure whatever happened to it.

You're pic is WAY better than my pic...I have a BAD...I mean, REALLY bad perm and I left my glasses on!!

Oh the joys of growing up!

Unknown said...

I tossed my journals into the garbage a long time ago. No good will ever come of me reliving my middle school years! And I'm with Kelly - Sam was most definitely a bastard.

Don't feel too bad about your picture. I had braces, glasses, and a frizzy-ass perm. So there.

mshatch said...

I still have one diary from when I was 15/16 and holy cow they didn't call me trash mouth for nothing! My mom actually did find and read my diary at one point and I got in all kinds of trouble which I felt was completely unjustified. I mean a diary is like the confessional, right?

April said...

My journals were all about boys... LOVE that picture!

Oh Mandie said...

my old journals were all about corny celebrity loves, lol.

And I happen to think that is a great picture (mostly because my 7th grade picture is exactly the same!)

Tina Laurel Lee said...

You were brilliant even way back then. And Au Contrair I think a written fairytale is an excellent way to work through angst!!! And the movie I was talking about is called READ IT AND WEEP. It's a Disney and on demand at Netflix.

Unknown said...

This is great! You're a brave woman to post these things. ;) In a fit of fourteen-year-old horror over my twelve-year-old ramblings, I burned my middle-school journals. Now, I'm wishing I still had them. I'm sure they were full of hoot-worthy entries!

Alyssa S. said...

You were bitter? I so totally didn't read that in there *holds up sarcasm sign* I dare say hostile is more like it. And for the record, I think the pic is sweet :)

Sian said...

lol these 'journal' fairy tales are awesome!

Mindi said...

Hahaha I love this post :) I need to find a lot of my Jr. High pictures to scan onto my computer. I was a very shy at school/but very dramatic at home type of girl. I carried my camera and video camera everywhere and had ginormous crushes on the teachers lol.

Tia Colleen said...

I love it when you flashback. It not only makes me feel way more human, but I feel like I know you so much better after you've shared your embarrassing experiences with me :)

Anita said...

Awesome! And your photo is adorable! I have one of myself that is very similar in its adorable awkwardness. My husband and I are thinking of rewriting THE UGLY DUCKLING. We think it sends an effed up message.

word verification: authos

Amie Kaufman said...

Man, diaries (sorry, journals) from those years are the best. My favourite entry from one of mine reads something like (name changed):

'Broke up with Ben. Shopping with Jane!'

I was clearly devastated.

Kathy said...

I kept a diary, ahem, journal in 7th grade, too, but unfortunately, I trashed mine. I wish I'd have been better about keeping stuff. The friend who I wrote Hope & Josie with actually kept ALL the notes her friends passed her in high school and junior high in a binder. I have my own little section that I am going to inherit if she ever decides to get rid of them. Maybe I can get her to scan one in and e-mail it to me to use for Flashback Friday soon.

Jonathon Arntson said...

That school picture is better than most of mine!

You're funny funny funny!

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