Friday, October 21, 2011

Friday Flashback: Best Roommate EVER and Bacon

My husband bought me a package of bacon the other day.

I know. Oh, believe me, I KNOW. He's amazing.

When it comes to bacon - more importantly, bacon slapped between two slices of mayonnaise-slathered Wonder bread - I'm a total nutjob. Let me just say, I've never been particularly trendy until worshiping bacon became the trend.

I WORSHIP BACON. There I said it, folks. I am a bacon-worshiper.

Of all the people who could tell you this fact about me, my former roommate Jean aka Best Roommate EVER, would say it best.

(and by say it best, I mean with a classic Jean-lives-with-Marisa look: eyebrows high, eyes wide - the "I am in the presence of a nutjob" expression on her face...)

Jean was my roommate during my last semester of college, when I was engaged to Will (who still lived in the UK at the time), was writing out mass quantities of wedding invitations (like, 50, but that felt like a ton), and, to my surprise, was in the middle of shape-shifting from a mostly cheerful college student to a neurotic preggo-monster (anyone who lives with Pregnant Marisa deserves a trophy, I'm telling ya).

Because of all this - and because my grandma loves me and bought me a ginormo Costco-sized slab of bacon - Jean was witness to extraordinary amounts of bacon consuming.

OMG, you guys, BACON!

One night, Jean, on the phone with her boyfriend, came out of her room and into the kitchen, sniffing the delicious air. She was already wearing her "I am in the presence of a nutjob" expression.

"I smell bacon. Are you making bacon?" she said. And into the phone: "Marisa's making bacon. Right now. An entire Costco package of bacon."

"Yeah!" I exclaimed, swinging my fork around like a magical bacon wand. "Want a bacon and mayonnaise sandwich?"

"Ew. No. You're making an entire package of bacon."

"I know!"

"Did you notice it's THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT???"

I looked at the clock. It was the middle of the night.

"Oh. Yeah. Look at that. Hmmmm... Guess this isn't the best time to make a slab of Costco bacon." A lie! A total lie! It's always the right time for bacon! "Are you sure you don't want some bacon?"

Insert another "I am in the presence of a nutjob" expression HERE.

"Yeah, okay, I'll have some. But not in a mayonnaise sandwich," she said.

And then we ate lots of bacon and lived happily ever after. The end.

To this day (and I literally mean THIS DAY, since I just made bacon about 5 minutes ago) I can't make bacon and mayonnaise sandwiches without seeing Jean's classic "I am in the presence of a nutjob" expression.


And just a note: If you consume mass quantities of bacon when you're pregnant, you'll gain 45+ lbs. Only a little of that will be baby weight. Not a lot of Weight Watchers recipes include mass quantities of bacon. You have been warned.

Happy Friday, folks



beka said...

oh boy. i love that :)

mshatch said...

I like bacon, too, but I'm glad I never liked it that much. I'd be huge!!!

DancingMooney said...

You are too funny Marisa!

I have to admit, I do *like* bacon, but I'm not a big fan of how popular it is... it doesn't really need to be on everything, does it? LOL.


Unknown said...

Last night I dreamed I was frying up a giant slab of bacon. I am NOT kidding. And now that I've read your post this morning, I feel like there's something cosmic going on. *insert Twilight Zone theme song*

Alyssa S. said...

So for Christmas, send Marisa bacon...check!

Leah said...

ha! I have to say, if your college roommate never gave you that "I live with a crazy person" look, you probably weren't all that interesting. ;)

SewSweetStitches said...

What is it with Costco bacon?! I know you may refuse to acknowledge me as a friend henceforth, but up until last weekend, I.... I.....

..hated bacon.
I know. I KNOW! But it's because I'd never had COSTCO BACON. True story.

Angela Ackerman said...

Oh man, I feel like I've found a soul sister or something! BACON OMG YESSSSS!

And guess what I found in the supermarket today? Guess!

Baconnaise. Oh yes I did. *hugs baconnaise jar*

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

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